A bit of advice for Job applicantsThis is not in any way intended as self promotion. But we though that a little advice from 'Those old dudes' might be of interest. After all some of, or all of, the people running businesses will be in our age group.

(1) Let's settle this first so we get the offense out of the way. We do not owe you a job. We want you to earn a good living whilst making us money. That is how it works. if you think you can do better, you might like to find the funding to start your own business?

(2) This is more to do with our ability than yours. However, if you send us a phone picture of your CV in various segments, via Facebook, Twitter, bogApp etc. the chances are that we won't be able to read them. You might live on and by your mobile phones but we do not. We tend to use Laptops or PCs. Mainly because we have to be able to do serious things like accounts, printing etc. If you send us a CV which we can't read due to image compression in social media sites, this is simply not our fault.

(3) On-line application forms. OK you don't link them. But we are not stupid enough to leave our email address visible on our website for every Spam-Bot on the Internet to abuse. If we provide you with a form to complete please add the correct details in the logical boxes. Name – Name, email – email etc. The Comments box is not for you to copy & paste the text content of your CV into. This results is that pretty text formatting that you have added or possibly paid to have created, being removed. All we get is the raw text. Which doesn't look overly impressive. First impressions etc. You'll find that the 'Upload CV' button works really well. As in that we actually get your CV in the format and style you intended. You'll be surprise by the number of file formats we can deal with!

(4) Pestering.... Sending messages to our Facebook page every two days is not a cool gig. Please see (1) above. We don't owe you the job of your dreams. If for whatever reason we have decided that you are not suitable for the post. Then I'm afraid no number of prompts will change our decision. You really would be better applying for another post, with somebody else, who you've not ticked off.

(5) Social Media Tagging your mates. “Look this is where I'll be wrkn” Firstly, it's not a word dude / dudess. Secondly, we can see the text in your tag and you've just reduced your chances.

(6) Silly email addresses. imthebigdick69@hotmail.com is not an appropriate email address for a job application chum. IF you have three legs, effectively this should be between you or your girlfriend. I really hope she's satisfied.

(7) Weird / Obtuse / Obscene Social Media Posts. Yes you've worked out the form page. Well done you. But in doing so you've allowed us to find you on Facebook etc. Unless you've bolted your security settings down. (This will also make us suspicious). Look at what you post. Would you employ you if you were say 20 years older? Would you trust you with our customers? Would you trust you with cash?

In the day, way back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth we had a comedy character called Yosser Hughes who's tag line was “Giz a Job – I can do that” - Don't be Yosser!!!!